so last week got off to a bang. monday we had lots of kids, and so it was most unfortunate when Charlie and I started throwing up. What is worse than a toddler being sick, or a busy mother being sick? both at the same time. and i have the worst gag reflex known to mankind. it was not a good day. you know how hard it is to get an 18 mos old to throw up in one place? thankfully we have hardwood. Hannah started to ask us to go upstairs to throw up. oh, gee, how can i accomodate you my dear, the healthy one?
it took me a full 5 days to get back to normal. due to pregnancy, i guess. patrick came home 3 days in a row to me already in bed, waiting for him to take over. and take over he did! what would i do without him? he even made things like fettucine alfredo.
so we recovered in time for our valentine's day weekend. saturday david and des were here and we met them for lunch. so nice to be able to do that now that they're close! then we went to a special dinner here in town that a church was putting on as a fundraiser. it was a japanese hibachi grill theme, and really quite authentic. childcare was included in the price of the ticket, so we dropped them off in the nursery. patrick said i looked the nicest i've looked in a long time. which i think was a compliment :-). yet we still didn't take a picture. it was a fun evening.
then sunday we hosted a sunday school fellowship, which for some reason i thought would be fun to do a fondue theme. not a single picture of that either. not the pretty luminaries patrick made for the walkway. not the co-ordinating plates and table runners. not the strawberry cream cheese cupcake tier. not the impromptu picture wall, with everybody's wedding pictures. not the 16 people we had squeezed into our dining room. it was so much fun. at least i thought so. if i picked my head up from my plate, i noticed i was the only one actually using my fondue fork, everyone else just put it on their plate. this was no small undertaking. it was very much a group effort. i drafted 2 friends to help me, and with the 3 of us working very hard, we were ready on time.
fast forward 4 hrs. 11 pm. everbody's gone. i'm standing in the kitchen, surrounded my piles upon piles of mess. the 2 big cooking pots, the 4 cheese pots, the 4 chocolate pots, and everything in between. i have 3 extra kids coming the next day. (patrick offered to help, but he had a really big day today and had to leave early). it all worked out. now tonight i'm working on getting chocolate out of all my white tablecloths!
my children are doing so well, i (we) love them beyond our comprehension. even so, it happened again. for the 3rd time in my life. lying in bed last night, feeling a tiny flicker in my belly, i had a sharp fear: what if i dont' love this one like i love my others? how can I possibly love someone else as much as I love hannah and charlie right now? i remember sitting in barnes and noble with my mom, a few days before charlie came, sobbing because i was worried i was going to resent baby 2 for intruding on my life with baby 1. and before Hannah came, i was convinced i would see her as coming between me and patrick, taking my attention away from him. (which in a way, she does, of course!) but i know better this time. when i look at charlie and hannah, hold them, teach them, laugh with them, i still can never imagine loving anybody as much as i love them. i guess that's part of the miracle. 20 wks today.