big kids, birthdays, bicycles, and more: a family update

My kids are getting so old! This year we decided to give sports a try. The Y here has a very laid back intro to soccer program, that meets once a week. Hannah and Charlie are in separate groups, but they both play on the same fields, so it doesn't complicate the family logistics too much. Caroline and I sit on a blanket and watch both of them. (Actually, I sit on the blanket and get up every 5 minutes to pull her kicking and screaming off the field so she doesn't get kicked in the head by some of those seriously intense 6 yr old soccer players who seem to have gone to some private prestigious sports camp over the summer. Caroline then expresses her appreciation by going as far away from me as she can (without getting in trouble again), turns around, sits or lays down on the ground (or parking lot, etc), crosses her arms, and pouts for an impressively long time for a 2 yr old. Then we do it again. Its loads of fun! ;-) 

Last weekend David and Des came up, and we celebrated Charlie's and Des' birthdays together. The birthday peeps with their birthday waffles. Due to that most unfortunate aspect of real life called work, they didn't get to stay very long, but we had a special time while they were here! 

They took the kids for a bike ride. . . . and how does this always happen on the way back? Nobody can turn Caroline down, when she wants to, she can be just about the sweetest thing. All the kids are doing so great on their bikes, its so fun! We took Charlie's training wheels off too, and he picked it up really quickly. They ride their bikes alot here, which we have never done before. Our house in Kansas (which we affectionately refer to as "the yellow house", and actually miss quite a bit :-( was not well situated for bike riding. Here, they have alot of bike paths, and parks all over the place, its one of my favorite things about this town.

love, sweet love (this is PopPop, btw. I know, it can be hard to tell the difference between David and Patrick sometimes! :-)

Last weekend was "King Turkey Day" in Worthington. A longstanding tradition involving racing turkeys down Main Street. (At least I think; I missed the actual turkey race because we were too busy eating fair food at another location.) There was a 10k I had considered doing, but decided to do the 5k with Hannah instead. (did I use her as an excuse to wimp out? yes, pretty sure.) It was called a Family Fun Run, but any family fun run I've ever heard of is only 1 mile. So we weren't sure how it was going to go, especially because she wasnt that thrilled about it. I just wanted her to try, and she had quite a few little friends doing it with their parents as well. I, at least, had a blast, sharing something I love with my daughter. I told her I would slow down for her over the next ten years if she would slow down for me in the following ten years. It is apparently a non-issue, as she informed me she never wanted to do it again. We'll see . . . 

It was a big day for me and Hannah; later on we went on a zip-line together. She wasnt thrilled about that either! 

Patrick loves his dad. . . 

but I'm the one with whom he shared the deep fried oreos! (we shared them with everybody, actually. you can only eat a few bites of those things before wanting to throw up!) And do I see anything strange about running in a road race at 9 am and going to eat fried oreos at 2 pm? Well no I don't, actually. ;-)

You know what's funny? Last year, on Charlie's birthday, we also had a very busy day, beginning with running a race. Must be the season. So, we had Charlie's 4th birthday party, with just us family, and it was fun. Many thanks to Patrick's co-worker Miss Kim, who provided all these awesome decorations as a special gift to Charlie. Who loves superheros. (Although he has never seen any movie or even read any book about it. He just likes them because they save people. He even calls them 'savers.')

I love Caroline on the left. She is something else. Hannah is still the only self-regulator in the family. The rest of us are missing that gene. Every time Caroline gets upset about something (which is quite often), she often goes to the floor kicking and screaming, "I eat Charlie birthday cake, Charlie birthday cake!" (Emotional eater? Can't imagine where she got that from. Surely not me?) When I inform her it's all gone, she always blames someone who she remembers being there. "Nana eat all Charlie birthday cake?" "Daddy eat all Charlie birthday cake?" "Hannah eat all Charlie birthday cake?" (I, of course, refrain from telling her that I'm pretty sure I did most of the damage. The child, after all, can be quite violent.) 

I know many people find this strange, but we feel so grateful to be living within a days drive from two sets of grandparents! That is a rare thing. Any time we can spend together is precious. 

at my moms. 

The kids have made great strides in their swimming, in addition to their bikes. It does seem like our family changed alot this summer. They swam so much at my moms, during our two trips up there. And it's great because its so clear, they arent nervous. There were alot of older second cousins around to show them what life could be like when they enjoyed the water. Now, we can go to the pool at the Y and actually swim in the deep end. They have a climbing wall, a diving board, and a basketball hoop. Charlie has floaties, and doesn't need anyone to hold him. (Which is an incredible change, he used to be glued to the dock/edge of the pool). Caroline has always done her best to drown herself, or so it seems, but she actually does pretty well in a lifejacket, even without anyone holding her. So we actually have fun doing things together. (Families with babies: life gets easier. I promise!) Now, if we could just kick those diapers to the curb. . . 

I started a new tradition today, on this beautiful first day of fall. We made cake donuts (with lots of cinnamon and nutmeg, dusted with a little cinnamon sugar), and had them with cider. 

The other two still had to be kept from getting completely covered in very sticky donut dough and falling into the hot oil. But Hannah can be a real help now. It is rewarding to see all those times I've had her on the chair next time, for the past 4 years, finally pay off. In another few years, maybe she'll be cooking for us! 

Enjoying our special snack. . . and then what happens after too much special snack! (It was 9 oclock before Caroline finally went to sleep. I think she came down stairs 5 times. Surely this was unrelated to the scary amounts of pure sugar she digested, on an empty stomach? Caused by refusing to eat any supper except a hard boiled egg, and then licking all the sugar off her donuts.Come to think of it, I cant remember the last time that child ate a vegetable. Except for the green tomatoes she always steals off my plants. 

 I love her so much! (by this point we were both COVERED in cinnamon sugar.) 

Two steps forward. . . One step back. . . yet onward and upward

It was not the first time I had found myself in this situation during church. Unable to stop the tears from running down my face,  I quietly slipped out the back and headed to the restroom to take a deep breath and compose myself. As I opened the door to return to the service, I nearly collided with another woman whose eyes were as red as my own. She, in fact, was the reason for this emotional Sunday morning. Neither of us had any words as we hugged, wiped away tears again, and parted ways. I may never see that woman or her family again, because they are a missionary pilot family leaving for Brazil, and our church here had just commissioned them. As I thought about the next six weeks they have before their (long, long awaited) departure, I was overcome with how difficult leaving is going to be. For them now, for us later. It is at times like these that the reality of this life we have chosen hits me full in the face, and the thought makes me feel as if my heart were being ripped out. 
One year ago this month, we took a very real step away from our former lives and towards the future, by selling our house and nearly everything we own, and leaving a good job, church, and family. We are in between right now: still in America, but not at "home", working towards missions, but not quite full time missionaries. A time of preparation (both spiritually, financially, and professionally) and anticipation, of prayer and planning. I know it is important, but sometimes I just want to pull the band-aid off. 
It's hard to stay focused, too. Its hard to be living here in America, where people have and use all the things we already got rid of, and not wish we still had them! Its hard to be here but not plan on staying, and so feel like you're holding back a little, not allowing yourself to feel too much at home, not knowing how much to invest in the present and how much in the future. 
It's hard to hear things that make me think twice about the decision we have made. Horrible things happen here, for sure, but for some reason when I think about something happening there, it feels so much worse. Like the massive fire in the Nairobi airport a few months ago. I don't believe anybody died, miraculously, but hearing the eyewitness accounts reminded me just how good our country does things like disaster management and handling emergencies. (Instead of, say, not even fighting the fire for a few hours until private security forces are rounded up to help). And now, of course, I will think twice about going to the mall while living in Nairobi. Hearing these stories does scare me sometimes, if I let it. 
And most recently, hearing another kind of news altogether, the news that my stepfather has colon cancer. Patrick and I were not prepared for cancer just one generation above us, I still am trying to wrap my brain around this. Not only does it drastically change the next 12-18 months before we go, and the amount of time we will be able to spend with my mom and Bob, but it just reminds me, there will be no perfect time to leave. Not even a good time to leave. But how can we leave our families when they are going through a difficult time? We love our families so much, even though mine and Patrick's families both have been spread out across the country (or 2 countries), we love being with them and want to be there for and with them, in good times and bad. 
(I don't know where I'm going with this, except that at some point in time I said this blog was supposed to be an honest look at a missionary in training! It may not always be professional, may not always be spiritual, may not always be interesting, but I hope it's always honest.)
The only thing, absolutely only thing, that could possibly keep me on this path, is that HE who called us is FAITHFUL and WORTHY. And as hard as it is to live sometimes, I really truly believe that compared to Him, nothing else even matters. So, let's keep on truckin. And one day, everything will make sense. And everything, every pain and every loss and every sacrifice made for His sake, will be worth it one hundred times over when we see the Lamb lifted up on the throne, glorying in the worship of every tongue, tribe, and nation.