We are back home for a few weeks, now that I am back from Chicago and all of us are back from Minnesota. Both trips were really worthwhile, enjoyable, helpful, and busy! I went to Chicago to attend something put on by Interact International called "TCK (third culture kid) Pre-field Educational Planning Seminar." It should have been called "everything you need to know to help your kid survive yanking them out of the united states (or your home country) and plopping them down in a foreign country." Just kidding. Sort of. We all know that it is no small thing, this decision we are making for our children. But we have actually considered it. We have counted the cost, we are not bringing them along as an afterthought. And we truly believe that this experience, though painful at times, also has the potential to be a gift for them, not just a challenge. I would definitely recommend the conference to anyone moving overseas as a family, be it for international business, diplomatic work, military, or otherwise. As I said before I went, I don't even know how much I don't know. I don't even know what questions to ask, because I've never done this before. Education was only one part of the event, and academics only one part of education. We also talked about second language issues, connecting with your host country, and dealing with transition. The most important thing is that we are going as a family. If something isn't going to be in the best interests of our family, then we don't want to do it. But we believe that we will not only survive in Kenya, but thrive! 

Chicago was like nothing I've ever seen. Prior to this trip, I had only seen O'Hare. I was staying out in Wheaton, but various things took me into the city three times, and definitely came to appreciate the lack of traffic (or traffic lights, for that matter) in our little town. It is a trade-off, of course. I mean, could you find this in Haviland? ;-) 

Don't let the whole fish part scare you. I try to enjoy many authentic cultural experiences, but honestly, I don't eat strange things. And I am so glad that never really came up in Senegal. They do serve the fish this way sometimes, but you can just pull the meat off it same as you do here, when you are grilling a whole fish. Anyways, it was fun. I have to say, it is easy to romanticize things the farther removed you are from them. Let's just say my Wolof is pretty rusty. (Actually, closer to non-existent. Although i did dream in Wolof for a full 4 years straight after I came back. closure issues? perhaps.) When I went into this restaurant, I remembered how flat-out uncomfortable it is to be in unfamiliar surroundings, not understanding what is going on around you, not knowing what is expected of you. Just good to keep in mind. I don't want to have unrealistic expectations about how hard Africa can be. Not just Africa. Any foreign country or cross-cultural experience. 

The next night, I braved the city traffic again to visit some of our partners, and meet their little guy. We are so grateful to have had the chance to interact personally with nearly everybody, and some we will get to the end of the summer. Also while in Chicago, I went out for coffee with a former AIM Air person, and she shared all kinds of stories and information about their career in exactly the same places we are going to. If we aren't prepared, it sure won't be for lack of trying! 

I then went straight to Minnesota and met Patrick and the kids, and my mom and Bob came down to meet us there. It was really interesting, coming from this seminar about kids in transition, to see mine reacting to going back to another "home." And even more so, because we stayed at the same house we lived in all last year, and some of our things were still there. They were are a little confused. Honestly, I was a little confused. Little things, like the muscle memory of finding your way in the dark, knowing where the light switches are and how far to turn the tap before its too hot. And to be inside your house and recognize the sounds that are going on outside. Just very very familiar. But I think the point is, for us, home doesn't have to be just one place. And definitely not just one group of people. We were able to reconnect with nearly all our neighbors, and many people at our church. 

I recently shared something on FB that someone much more eloquent than me wrote about the challenges and rewards of coming and going, from a military family perspective. Is it worth it? The awkwardness of getting to know people, of making new friends, and then the pain of leaving? The emptiness of having friends and loved ones all over the world who hardly ever see, or maybe even shared life with for a set period of time and then never will again? 

 

I am going with yes. Pretty sure that in every area of life, the most rewarding road is never the easiest. Relationships can be hard, messy, and difficult to maintain from long distances. But I think the absence of a physical home causes us to appreciate all the more the importance of the other things that make someplace home: wherever you are known and loved. 

Some friends let us borrow all kinds of toys and even bikes while we were there. The ways people have reached out to us and helped meet our needs are as numerous and varied as the road trips we've taken. Thank you thank you thank you. We feel so blessed. 

Incidentally, the afternoon we had slated to hang out with the neighbour kids, Ben's mother collapsed and had to be taken to the hospital. I think she is ok, but it was terrifying for the kids, as they came home from school and found her. I do not think it was an accident that we were there, I feel like God wanted us there for them at that time, of all the afternoons we could have chosen. They stayed with us the rest of that day until she came home. Helped me remember He loves those precious kids in our neighborhood, and He will take care of them. 

My older neighbour was so excited, I told her we could come over for coffee, but couldn't stay for lunch, as we already had an appointment for lunch. Somehow I ended up eating coffee, popcorn, this sweetbread (she made the entire thing for us to take with us), two kinds of meat entrees and one vegetable, with injera (this interesting traditional flatbread thing), and, homemade beer, of all things. (That was a new experience for me.  She said I would run into alot of it in Kenya. Alas, I didn't get the vibe it was more for the men, either. Have to think of a culturally appropriate response for that one. ;-)

Good times in Minnesota! When I do think about the difficulties of saying goodbye, I always think, if I had never of said goodbye in such and such place, I never would have made the friends in the next place. I know God has many relationships yet to make, and we are really looking forward to being a part of the AIM Air community, and also make friends with the people around us. (Which is why, crazy person that I am, I just downloaded a learn-Swahili app. ;-) 

I cannot say enough how excited and thankful we are to our partners, and to the Lord, who has so faithfully led us and provided for us. We only have two trips left this summer, one for training purposes and one to visit my mom in Canada. We have some more opportunities to speak locally, at some churches and to a few groups. The rest of the time, we will be doing regular things: swimming lessons, VBS, eating watermelon, and barbecuing, before we head east in August to go to Virginia, and then start Technical Orientation, ie. last stop on this train! 

pb&j, with a side of curry

It was the middle of the night, and the sand beneath my feet was just beginning to cool. I stepped off a small boat, onto an island, and a dreamlike scene unfolded before me. It was so dark, the Senegalese faces around me seemed almost ghostlike, with their white, flowing boubous (traditional African outfit) literally glowing.  I was dressed in my best Senegalese finery, and my language skills were decent by this point in my 2 yr term, but I still did not feel prepared for this situation. I had been the only white person in a group many times before, but not like this. To this day, I am not sure why we were even invited, but the family I was staying with at the time was going, and brought me along, and my summer volunteer. It was a very special religious event, that lasted all night long. Tents were set up for praying, teaching, and chanting the Koran. People relaxed in small groups, taking breaks from their spiritual endeavors to nap, drink tea, or eat a snack, before rejoining a ceremony. The joyful, noisy, friendly Africans I had gotten to know and feel comfortable had transformed themselves into serious, quiet, reserved pious Muslims. I knew only 2 people there, and they left us to fend for ourselves as they participated in the required events. Everywhere I looked was a minefield of cultural faux pas waiting to happen, and I was incredibly nervous and uncomfortable. It was a looooooong night. But that night will live in my memory forever, and I would never trade a moment of it!

Isn't this everybody's worst nightmare? To be in an uncomfortable situation, to not know how we should act, what we should say, maybe even what we should wear or eat? To not understand anything going on around us, not be able to communicate. Be scared, embarrassed, nervous.  Most of us completely take for granted how comfortable we feel in our own culture. We don't even know how much we know! It is so ingrained in us, we don't have to second guess each decision we make. Its good to feel safe, to feel like you know what's going on, and to be able to communicate so easily. But that may not always be the case, even if we stay right here in America. The nations have come to us, even if we don't interact with them on a regular basis. So even if we feel comfortable, chances are there are people close to you that feel exactly as described above. 

"In light of current world tensions, there is an unprecedented need for American Christians to meet, befriend and connect with those from other nations who now live within our borders. Most recent immigrants have never been invited into the home of an American who truly loves and follows Christ. As a result, few American Christians know them or understand their cultures." - www.reachingthenationsamongus.org 

Maybe you have a colleague from another culture, maybe a neighbor; or maybe you occasionally order food from an authentic ethnic restaurant! Maybe you feel a stirring that God wants to use you to be his mouthpiece of grace and reconciliation in some of these cross-cultural relationships. There is so much to be enjoyed and gained by broadening our horizons and friendship circle to include those we may not normally gravitate towards, because of certain barriers such as language. A few tools to use to help us overcome these barriers:

1. Smile It may sound too good to be true, but it isnt! It communicates the same thing in any language. And it means all that much more to a person who is not used to getting a real, sincere, look you in the eye kind of smile from someone. Add a handshake, and you're probably way ahead of the pack. (At least in Africa, handshakes are very important, and a must when greeting someone.) 
2. Learn his/her name This also sounds simple, but often, if we cant pronounce something, we probably wont take a risk of saying it, because we'll do it wrong. And that would be embarrassing. But just looking at the nametag and asking, "how do you pronounce your name?" means so so much. Props if you can say it right the next time you see them! 
3. Extend an invitation to your home I must confess, I have struggled in this one. What if they dont like my food? What if they are coming to be polite but dont really want to? What if they talk about me and I cant understand? What if they see how much "stuff" (although it isnt much) I have and think I'm wealthy and ask me for money? It can be really difficult to smile and just be relaxed in that kind of situation. There may be some awkward moments. But hospitality means so much in all traditional cultures. To invite someone into your home and share a meal with them communicates a great deal, and is crucial in building a relationship with someone. Dont stress about it; your guests know they are in America, you are American, and they expect your house, family, and life to be different from theirs. 
4. Be a learner The other day, I met an African, and asked not what country he was from, but what tribe he was. You'd think I had brought a check from Publishers Clearing House, he was so surprised and appreciative. Such a small thing, but I guess no American he had come into contact with had brought that up with him. If there is a large population of a certain group of people in your area (and immigrants often end up in groups), take the time to learn a little bit about that culture, and the country from which they came. Yes, I know, they live in America now. And I imagine they are very happy to be here. But that doesnt mean they dont think about and miss their home country. Ask them about it. It will mean alot. 
5. Be aware of boundaries Many cultures have stricter boundaries when it comes to things like male/female relationships. At least in traditional Africa (not necessarily the cities), if a man and a woman have a relationship, it is probably sexual, not just a friendship. I have found that being friendly is always good, but too personal, not so much. When in doubt, be extra careful. You dont want to send the wrong message. As Christ-followers, it is extremely important that we be above reproach, even if it is just perception. (Come to think of it, this might be a good rule of thumb for any culture, including ours! ;-)
6. Buy a dictionary Oh, I'm getting serious, now! :-) There are so many people here who speak little to no English; either they are newcomers, or just haven't managed to grasp this language, especially if they immigrated as adults, and their own language uses a different alphabet. (Before you make judgments about someone having a hard time learning English, chances are they already speak a few languages of their own!) If we really want to reach our neighbors with the hope of Jesus Christ, we are going to have to put some effort into it. Yes, they could come to your church. Yes, they can flip their radio to a Christian station, or catch a preacher on tv. But rarely is that enough. Maybe God is already working in their heart, and you are in their path for a reason. Learning just a few words, to be able to speak to someone in their own language, might be what makes the difference in their life. (Handy dandy technology these days, you can find an online dictionary for nearly any language. Just whip out your smartphone or ipad, type in the word you want, and you're good to go. You may get laughed at for pronouncing it wrong. Thats ok! Just laugh with them, dont be embarrassed or self-conscious. They pronounce English words wrong too.) 
7. Grab a baby! No, I am not suggesting you kidnap their   child :-). But children are a universal icebreaker. In Senegal, there was alot of sitting around.  We played with so many babies, all the time. (And there were alot of babies. When the law allows up to 4 wives, you do the math. . . !) Everybody can laugh at a toddler's antics, appreciate the universal language of a baby's babbling. If you have children, bring them with you. Instead of going to the park in your neighborhood, find another park, where immigrant children might play. Chances are they'll make friends pretty quickly, and there you go, an inroad to a family who doesnt know Christ!
8. Share celebrations together Many of the people who live in America have never celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter. These are great opportunities to reach out to newcomers and invite them into your family's celebration. You can live in America and still not really see or understand what Christmas and Easter are about. Most people, no matter what their cultural or religious background, want to learn more about American culture. This is a way you can share about Christ in a non-threatening way, because it is also a cultural lesson. Likewise, those from different cultures have a rich heritage of their own celebrations, and from everything I have seen, would love to share it with you! It means so much to people that we would take the time to celebrate Chinese New Year or something with them, and a great honor to be invited to share in that special time. Don't worry about not subscribing to the religious/spiritual beliefs behind it. Just because you share a meal at sundown with those breaking the Ramadan fast that doesnt mean you are supporting what they are doing. It actually brings about opportunities for conversation that would not be had if we kept our distance. (Obviously, use the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to know how much to participate in.)
9. Meet them on their turf There are many Sudanese who work at our Walmart. One elderly woman I had seen often. She was responsible for sweeping the floors, and every time I saw her, her head was down, and she was pushing that giant broom along aisle after aisle. I stopped her once to say hi, and ask where she was from. (Be prepared: nearly everyone I've met first responds with "Africa." I have to ask again to get any more specific) She told me South Sudan, and I got really excited, and told her my family might be moving close to there, across the border in northern Kenya, blah blah blah. She was completely unresponsive the whole time, didnt smile or anything. I went home thinking, ok, crazy white girl, party of one, aisle 10 please. The fact that I knew a tiny bit of information about her country did not make an impact on her at all. I continued to see her at Walmart regularly, and asked how she was, but that was it. Some time later, I went to an African church service. During the singing, many of the women gravitated towards the front as they danced and trilled. Amongst the joyful group, who did I see but my 'friend' from Walmart! She doesnt speak much English, but smiled at me and said hi. A while later again, Patrick and I were helping a friend move into a new place, an subsidized apartment complex that is about half African immigrants. I was holding the door open, and a very small, very black, very old woman comes through, hidden behind a giant hamper of laundry. Behind the hamper, I see a gold tooth glinting. It's my Sudanese friend! She was so surprised to see me, but very happy. She put her laundry down, gave me a hug, and asked about each of the children, asked what i was doing there, and I got to meet her family. (Who live 2 doors down from my friend.) I think you get the point. Learning someone's name and taking the time to really see them and appreciate their work might have been polite, but it wasnt until she saw me in her world that she trusted me, and let me in. If we are going to gain the trust to speak into people's lives with the hope of Jesus Christ, we have to go to where they are, not wait for them to come to us. 
10. Be a bridge I hope that newcomer ministry is something you feel drawn towards, but still, no one person can help everybody. As much as I would like to find housing, find jobs, teach English and citizenship classes, even witness, etc to everybody I meet, I cant do it. But i can familiarize myself with what is available through other avenues. Our town has free ESL, GED, citizenship, workforce preparation, and other classes. A bus can pick you up, and there is childcare provided, and I can make people aware of that, and help them figure out how to register. I know which churches have services in different languages. You can easily get a hold of Bibles, Jesus films, and other evangelistic tools in any language you need, and carry them in your car. We can only build close relationships with a few people, but we can still help to meet the physical and spiritual needs of those around us, in the name of Christ. 

I know it seems counter intuitive to embrace an awkward situation when what we want to do is avoid it. But people are waiting on us to hear about Jesus. Its worth it. HE is worth it. Let's go to them! 

Coffee break, East Africa style

I am a bit of a coffee drinker. True to the stereotype, I started drinking the stuff in college. It wasnt too long before it truly came to have a place of importance in my life! I like all kinds. The fancy kinds with the long names and 1,000 calories. The regular kind. the decaf kind. over ice. hot. blended. latte. cappucino. americano. it doesnt matter; i'll take it all. Over the years, it has increased in importance, unfortunately. Now it is an integral part of my morning routine. Evening routine too, actually. Last thing before I go to bed, I grind my beans, measure out my water, and get it all ready to go. When I stumble out of bed in the morning, in a ridiculously bad mood (yes, every morning, unfortunately) I just hit the button and we're good to go. As it brews, I use my BBC app to find out what transpired around the world while I slept, and in a minute I'm ready to head to the couch for my quiet time, with my gigantic mug of coffee. (The mug that, when Patrick gave me, I gave him a bit of an eye roll. Seriously, who is ever going to use this enormous, heavy mug? Its totally impractical. You can barely lift it, when its full! Well, yes, I use the enormous mug. Every. single. day. When it's dirty because I didnt run the dishwasher and I have to use another one, I am sad. Because I have to interrupt my quiet time more often to go refill my mug. But i digress.)

I do not care I get my coffee as long as it's strong. If I'm having a special breakfast, I wont eat it without coffee. If its sweet like pancakes or waffles, I will add milk but not sugar, but most of the time, I will. If I'm having dessert, I often make coffee. (Am i kind of like an old person???) My sweet husband got me an fancy coffee machine a little while ago, so I can make lattes myself. I crave lattes like he craves Dr. Pepper 10. (yes, even high maintenance people such as ourselves can be missionaries ;-) So often in the afternoon, especially when its cold, I will make my own latte, and save myself the ridiculous $4 they would charge me at the coffeeshop. All this is part of my elaborate coffee rituals. When I go away, I have been known to bring the small cans of Starbucks double shots with me, just in case the place. (Can I get an amen from somebody,  anybody, please, who is feeling me right now? Or, in the words of my good friend Beth Moore, "Does anybody know what I'm talking about?" ;-)

The other day, I broadened my horizons in a special way, and experienced the Ethiopian coffee ceremony. (It did not involve a big green sign and the words skinny, grande, and extra shot. Or pumpkin scone. Or any scone.) Some of my neighbors invited us over. We hung out on the back deck/porch/stairwell. I had noticed all the extension cords before, but wasn't sure what they were for. 

The coffee maker begins by roasting her own beans, in a small skillet. (My friend was using a small heating element here. Not sure what would be used in the absence of electricity.)

Incense is very popular, just as it was in Senegal. She had a few different kinds, as well as some potpourri looking things she put directly on these coals. 

I really got a kick out of the coffee grinder, because everything else seemed very traditional. I am sure that in Ethiopia, at least in the rural areas, it is done with a mortar and pestle type deal. But who would do it by hand if you dont have to, right? :-)

next, the freshly roasted, ground beans are put directly into this beautiful little pot. (Every Ethiopian house I have been into is sporting one of these. And I have to tell you, I may get one myself. It worked really well!)

After the appropriate amount of time, filled with conversation (limited, in this particular case!) and snacks the gracious hostess provides, such as popcorn, the wonderful smelling coffee is ready. It is a good thing I like really strong coffee; as you may have guessed, this stuff is STRONG! But she did add a few heaping teaspoons of sugar to the tiny little cup. Its really more like a shot of espresso. Or Arabic coffee. 

Just like Senegal, there are 3 cups of coffee to be had, and each round of the coffee ceremony has its own name. This allows ample time for the real purpose: visiting! There is a small blue plastic tub on the right, with a scoop. She rinsed out the cups in between each round. 

I am definitely out of practice with my cross-cultural experiences these days. The past few months have been a good reminder for me. If you are pursuing a chance to step outside of your regular context, stay in touch. I will share what I've been (re)learning! 

Now, if only I could track down a country that has a 3 step ice cream ceremony. . . 

Special days

yesterday, our baby turned 2. Since the beginning, she has been a firecracker. I am only now starting to see that I had it pretty easy with the first two kids. Caroline takes the terrible twos to a new level, at least in our family. So much passion inside such a little package. She keeps us on our toes, for sure. 

We went out for pizza with a few friends. 

Caroline was a popular girl, she got quite a phone calls from her extended family members. This was talking to my dad and Kim, during supper. I know technology has its downfalls, but I love how it can help us stay connected. 

Enjoying her cake. 

Love you, baby! 

As special as she is, life isn't all about her. (I know, you're probably thinking sheesh, wont she give it a rest once in a while? I'm sorry, at least I'm predictable!) South Sudan became a country the same day Caroline was born. As you probably know, the Muslim north has been fighting with the Christian south for a very very very long time. The fighting has been brutal, and horrible atrocities have been committed. Genocide, rape, bombings, and the like. Refugees have been pouring out of the area for ever, it seems. (Many have come to America; i bet there are some in your town!) Samaritans Purse alone takes care of approximately 20,000. Anyways, South Sudan did become its own country, but things have still been bad. I will never celebrate my daughter's birthday without taking a moment to think of and pray for our Christian brothers and sisters in South Sudan. check out http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/international-crisis-response/  for more info. 

AIM Air has a base right at the border of Kenya and South Sudan, and does alot of work with the national church there. There is a chance we could work there one day! 

Also, Muslims around the world began Ramadan on July 9. Ramadan is a month long time of fasting, prayer, and other spiritual disciplines, like abstaining from temporal pleasures and giving to the poor. It is similar to the Christian Lent season. Except the fasting is much more difficult! As Muslims are seeking to know Allah more and submit themselves to his will, it is an especially important time to intercede for those who have a sincere heart to know the one true God. God will never turn away anyone who prays to Him in faith, with a sincere heart. Ramadan concludes with the Night of Power, when many Muslims ask Allah to reveal himself to them in dreams and visions. We can pray that God will show Himself to them. It is also a good time to show a sincere desire to learn more about the Muslim neighbors, friends, and coworkers we all have. As we show an interest in their faith, it opens up the relationship for more spiritual conversations. 

Click here for daily prayer articles for the next 30 days, and more information on how to pray for, reach out to, and relate to Muslims here in America and around the world. 

new friends, food, and fellowship

The other night at supper, Ben (the neighbor kid in some of our pictures) showed up at the table. That isnt news, but he brought a tag-along we had never seen before. Once Patrick and i noticed there were two little African boys at our table, instead of one, we tried to figure out what to do. I tried to communicate his mom might worry about him if she didnt know where he was, but he didnt seem to care. So everybody else went ahead with dinner, and he walked me back to his house so i could ask if it was ok that he stayed. 

Hadush lives in the duplex next to us along with his mother and grandmother. (The neighbors in between are also Ethiopian, but of a different people group. More on that later!) He is an only child, and his grandmother is more protective than what we've been used to in the neighborhood. (Everyone else seems to lose track of their children from dawn to dark. But isnt that how it used to be, I guess?) So she has been walking over to check on him when he's playing at our house. It took a few tries, but she eventually accepted my invitation to come in and visit. She speaks no English, except for a few vocabulary words and basic greetings. So I understand why she felt awkward about a complete stranger inviting her over. I showed her some pictures so she could understand a little of where i was coming from. As soon as she saw a picture of me eating (and yes, there were alot of those. I ate alot in Senegal!) on the floor, from a common bowl, she got very excited, and disappeared. Twenty minutes later, she comes back. 

Lunch! Often, people ask what kind of ministry I will be doing while Patrick is busy flying church leaders to seminary and doing medical evacuations for missionaries. I tell them, just living normal life, being available to people, and being part of the community. Sometimes I get funny looks, and I understand that that idea isnt normal for most of us here. Because our lives are so separated. We have to schedule our interactions, and we generally put our agendas ahead of people. So, sometimes we dont make that much time for relationships. And, we are particular about the relationships we have: ones with people like us. Because how could we have a relationship with someone whom we had nothing in common with? We wouldnt know where to start. Never mind people who don't even share the same language, right!? 

But this is how. Because some African grandma that cant communicate with me at all was so kind and generous and warm to bring me a huge platter of food, for lunch for my family. And this is not some boxed cupcake mix. This food takes a long time to prepare. Her family is what one might call economically disadvantaged, but she was so glad to share all this food with me. We "visited" a little more, learning a few new words from each other. She tried to describe to me what each dish was, using animal noises. Chicken, ground beef, and lamb. Also some fresh homemade cheese. Two different kinds of bread, one yeast and one flat bread. And some greens, similar to collards, i believe. The food is meant to be eaten by pulling off pieces of the flatbread (rolled up on the right, under the ground beef dish), and using that to scoop up a sauce of some kind. She didnt want to stay to eat with us, but gave me a big hug, kiss on the cheek, and said she loved me. And called me her friend. That, my friends, is relationship. 

(And if there are any Amharic speakers in the house, feel free to pass along some tips. That is a hard language!) 

Strange vs. Normal: who's to say?

At times I feel bad for my kids, having such a strange mom. The poor kids, I know they (at least hannah) sometimes wishes I would just be normal. ;-) I hope they will appreciate it more when they are older. Maybe? The other day We were parked across the street from this market, on main st. here. We hadnt been in it yet, and I rarely pass by an ethnic grocery store without peeking in. And it happened to be lunch time, so we checked out the deli counter. In my defense, we passed by an awful lot of foods that I did NOT try to get them to eat. Like crickets or seaweed. We settled on plain sticky rice and some fairly benign looking dumpling things, with some kind of seafood inside. 

Walking around the aisles of this store really was like a world tour: all different kinds of Asian, primarily Vietnamese, Thai, and Laotian; Indian, Hispanic, and some African influenced food and products. Alot of incense, quite a few Buddhas next to statues of saints and Virgin Marys, beautiful woven baskets and plastic mats, and of course, giant (and i do mean giant) bags of rice. They did pretty well on this little field trip, but we got hungry in the grocery store (as we often do, we take so long!) and started to eat our snack. I was not surprised to find it overwhelmingly fishy, and saw that they mixed the skin in there with everything else. This was difficult for me to get used to in Senegal, where it was prepared the same way, but at least there were no eyeballs. (I dont think). My kids took a few bites and proceeded to complain loudly. Then, in front of the extremely kind and helpful check out lady, expressed strongly that they did not want to eat this weird food for lunch, they wanted normal food. Of course with kids, a subtle "please stop, can we talk about this later" glance is completely ineffective. 

As embarrassing as it can be with young children, I will continue to take every opportunity to help them explore other cultures. I am so grateful they have this available to them here, in small(ish) town rural Minnesota. We dont have to go to NYC or Miami or Seattle, we have so much right here. And i really hope that it will help to have this exposure in little bits and pieces, before they are completely surrounded by everything strange and different. They are leaning how to be polite and respectful of other cultures. In the car, we talked about how they are allowed to feel however they want, but to wait till we are in the privacy of our home to express those feelings. And never, ever assume that nobody around you speaks English. (I was always amazed at people who would say something rude, thinking they were pulling one over on my Senegalese friends because they said it in a nice tone of voice with a smile. So condescending. "Wow, that is the nastiest looking fish head i've ever seen, I'm not eating that!" There is a good chance someone around you speaks English. But I digress.) 

I hope my kids enjoy the coconut chicken curry noodles we are having for supper more than they did our snacks the other day. And I hope that they remember that some people may be offended by their speaking in gibberish and pretending to eat with their hands and saying they're "African." But they may not. They will do the same embarrassing cultural mistakes over and over again, as will Patrick and I! We will keep trying together, and I have found that in every culture, if you are sincerely friendly, humble, and show a desire to learn, people have so much grace for you! So, who wants to come to our house for dinner? ;-)